Firstly all apologies for being out of touch for so long. As you read this you will understand why.
It has been an extremely long year with everyone feeling the pressures of what has been seen as one of the most demanding and hardest years in a long time. Most people I have spoken to can’t wait for this year to end and start a fresh in 2010.
This year has flown by so quickly, yet could not come to an end sooner. What December mean for me is a time to reflect, consolidate and take stock for the New Year. A time to be thankful for all the blessings in your life and for all the great promises the New Year and future holds. Here is a look into my life in 2009 and what 2010 means for me:
January to April
On the 1st of January I started a huge training camp in preparation of SA Ironman. I had such good memories of training outdoors as well as so many 1st time experiences.
- The 1st time I had ever cycled over Franschhoek passes back and forth. I remember the moment so clearly, since I had my favourite music playing on iPod.
- I remember how real the moment was that I had entered online. For the 1st time I have committed to something bigger than myself and was adamant to see it through.
- The 1st time I did a 2km/3km/4km swim.
- The 1st time I run 2/2 ½ /3 hours
- The 1st time I cycled 4/5/6/7 hours.
I bonded with the most amazing and truly inspirational athletes on this journey.
The support from family and loved ones during the preparation time as well as on race day, I will always hold close to my heart. I had seen people be completely selfless and allowing me to be the best I could be. A truly a blessed experience to me.
Looking back in hind sight, I can say that although Ironman was a race I participated in, it prepared me for the rest of the year. More on that later.
25 April 2009 – My big 30 year birthday.
Lucky for me it was 2 weeks after Ironman and could we let our hair loose for this one. My birthday fell over a long weekend and along with friends and family we all went away from Friday to Monday. I can honestly say that it was the best time I had ever had and definitely the best birthday in my life. From the moment we arrived at our destination I laughed until the moment we left. It was so entertaining to see how everyone just blended together. Every person that was there added to more fun, laughter and absolute chaos. I was also blessed to have had my parents at the party and I was very proud to see that they where leading the party by far. It was a crazy, fruit punch drinking, loads of food eating, chocolate cake fighting weekend. To make it even more special, I was given a black book with Polaroid pictures in of everyone that was there with special messages and good wishes to me. Very dear to me.
May
This is where my first trauma for the year started. If you can recall on my previous posts, I was working as a Marketing Manager for a private equity company. On the 28th of May the director of the company called me in and told me that I was not going to earn a salary at the end of the month and best I find something else to do. I was dumped into the very deep and dark end regarding finances and left with not a lot of options. Since finances where already tight, this unfortunate event threw me even deeper into debt and did the struggle start here. I had just moved into a new flat in Green Point and was committed to paying rent which now became a problem. I had to decide whether I was going to fight what had happened or was I going to put all of that energy into something that was empowering me.
June
Based on my inspirations of Ironman, and the fact that I had to start working soon for income, FROM MONDAY Corporate Wellness was born. Urban Angel also took on a more of a personal identity. This was the time that I went from blond to a cosmic red head. It was a scary time, since everything was unsure, unfamiliar and a literary a testing time. Because there where no funds available for back up or to do things in abundance, I learned very quickly to find cost effective ways to put a business identity and office together.
July
My grandfather passed away. My dad’s father. What made it worse was that I had to see the man that I known to be the most positive, hardworking and always motivated to move on person in life break down and be human. As he was doing his thank you in front of the handful of people at the funeral, he looked like a boy missing his dad and knowing he won’t get to see him again. My arms where not big enough to get around him, but I tried my best to console my dad. To make matters worse, all of this happened 2 weeks after a bypass my father had to go through and I was very worried about my father’s wellbeing.
August – September
2 break in; in a space of 3 weeks. Yes and what was stolen from me was my most valuable Laptop with all the information on my new business, business plan, administrations, logo’s, identity and communications. Nothing backed up. Nothing insured.
What was also taken was my Suunto heart rate monitor, my iPod (with all of my inspirational music that I trained with during Ironman) my cell phone, my GHD. (Hair straightner) the diamond ring my parents gave to me for my 30th birthday and 2 x puma bags. Because the landlord had not fixed the alarm after numerous of begging sessions, the insurance did not pay out. I’m still without all these items.
On the up side, I was invited to a great day out with Audi Centre Cape Town and will I definitely remember this day as a highlight. My flatmate and I had such a great time together and laughed probably the entire day. I felt really empowered and with the wind in my hair had new energy to pick things up and carry on.
October
Financially I was at my end, and living out of other people’s pockets. There where days where I did not know how I was going to get from A – B since there was no money for petrol. Free wi-fi shops became my office where I did my work. I also realised that I would not be able to afford rent anymore and had to give notice. So here we go again. I newly friend opened his home to me to live and find me feet again. It worked out well since I had to look after his place while he was going overseas. All of my furniture was stored with friend’s garages and very unfortunately I had to take my Jessica (ginger cat) to the cattery where she is staying still. I was also very fortunate to have had my brother moved down to Cape Town and did he assist in physically moving me around.
While I was getting my FROM MONDAY Corporate Wellness business out there, I decided to start with personal training sessions on the side. It has grown to 7 clients and really helps financially to get started again.
November
You would think that everything possible that could go wrong was over, but by far the biggest loss this year was when our 3 ½ year relationship ended. It is still very raw you would understand if I don’t talk about this to you now. I still don’t have it figured out but will share my thoughts and feelings on this matter in post to come.
In November I also had to give myself over to debt collectors. What a relief! I first thought it to be really embarrassing, since I felt like a real failure. I realised that it was another measure of protection and actually helps me to budget properly. I was told that my situation was actually seen as an “easy to solve” client and that there where much worse cases that they had on their books. Now I don’t have to answer to any more bank calls, lawyers’ letters or fear of loosing any of my assets/vehicle. I would definitely recommend it to anyone if you are battling to pay all your bills at the end of the month.
So now we are here in December. How do I feel about the last year? I know that my race in the beginning of the year, emotionally and mentally equipped me for the rest of what I was going to experience in 2009. Every single time things became unbearable, I remembered how I felt physically and mentally in the race and that the one thing that stood out was: “Just do what ever it is you have to do now to the best of your ability and don’t worry about what still needs to happen. It will all work out just fine”.
In this last month having to have my heart broken, I have experienced a loss and pain like none other before. Again my mind took me back to the place in my race at 10 km to go where I was tired beyond believe and had the worse bloated cramping stomach. If you had read my race report you would remember the story, but at 10 km to go I had to make a choice. Either I could carry on with the half hearted attempt that I have been doing for so long, or run like I trained to and am talented to run. Either way I was going to experience pain, but I had the choice of deciding how I was going to carry it forward. It was not until I actually changed my attitude and started running my heart out that the pain went away. Guess what I am doing now every single day…
